When is Rape or Sexual Violations of My Person My Fault?

“Let’s say you throw caution to the wind and cross a busy intersection without looking both ways. If you did this, you would expect to be hit by a car, right? You would be responsible for your choice to cross the street unsafely, and responsible for being hit by a car. So why are you responsible for your actions and the result in this case, while a survivor of rape is not responsible for being raped if he or she drinks, or walks alone, or trusts a nImage may contain: 1 person, standingeighbour?”

It is often said by society or people in general that a female when raped she is to be blamed or she has a part to play in such a violation against her person.

It should be noted that many of those who have read the opening statement will conclude that I am lying and may have some disbelief in my statement. However, for someone to say “SHE SHOULD DRESS DECENT ON ROAD” or “SHE DID A MOVE FLEETY LIKE SHE WANT MAN” is suggestive that the VICTIM of such horrific crime has apart to play in the violation of her person of which she will never forget. Such a gruesome act shou
ld never be said or be believed to be the fault of the victim. What right does a person have to inflict physical, mental and emotional wound on another person so as to please his own satisfaction?

 

For those who have uttered or thought of such things should consider the purpose of sexual intercourse and what it means to a person who engages in such activity. According to an article written by John T. Chirban Ph.D, Th.D he said that sexual intercourse serves several of life’s basic purposes of such are pleasure, stress reduction, formation of our identity to our intimate connection and of course procreation. For a Christians sexual intercourse is more than for pleasure, stress reduction, formation of our identity to our intimate connection or even procreation. It signifies the moment when a married couple becomes one in the same which is a blessing from God to us as a people. Thus, the goal of sexual intercourse is for fulfilment and the act of rape or that of any form of sexual assault doesn’t bring any form of fulfilment but that of deep anguish. The act of rape or sexual assault robs the victim of the pleasure the act affords. It would increase the stress level as one would presume the replay of such gruesome act that plagues one’s thoughts will result in the disgust of oneself. I would assume there would be a feeling of the desire to crawl out of one’s disgusted skin. The identity that creates from such act is not one that is admiral to oneself. I would never dream a young lady would look at herself with a smile and being satisfied in herself and say with a smile “I feel sexy, or beautiful and I was just raped or sexually assaulted”. Let me not address the issue of a love child as oppose to a child of rape.

I have no knowledge first hand of how being raped or sexually molested can affect an individual, however, I have seen the negative effects as a close third party. As a result, I, cannot give a full account of the effects but what is for sure is that when physical danger threatens our control or, ability to escape or is something we can’t stop, we enact a natural instinct for survival. This includes the body summoning a tremendous amount of energy to fight or flee. The trauma echo through a person’s body and mind. This can result in shock, PTSD, depression, dissociation and many other kinds of effects. The trauma stays with us long after the violence ends, and can live on in the mind, body and spirit in a variety of ways.

Thus, it is imperative for me to point out that a victim of rape or any form of sexual assault did not ask for such ordeal and for those who make such comments should be ashamed of themselves for if this act were to visit your doors the roles would have been reversed. A victim of such horrific crime never asked for such a thing to happen to them. For one to say that women invite these predators by the clothing she wears is inaccurate and is a very selfish and sexist statement to make.

To understand the nature of rape and other sexual assaults is to know the definition of it. For example, rape is defined by the Sexual Offenses Act of Jamaica as sexual intercourse by a man without the woman’s consent and knowing that the said woman does not consent to the sexual intercourse or recklessly not caring whether the woman consents or not. It should be noted that the operative words are sex without consent and knowing or recklessly not caring that she does not consent. How then can society blame a victim for a violation she didn’t want. The act indicates pure selfishness on the one who committed the act.

So I caution you as neighbours never again utter the words or think that a woman or girl or man or boy should be blamed for the offence of rape or any form of sexual violations that they have endured as this does not help the healing process or ensure that justice is done in the society. Rather I beseech us as neighbours to be our brother’s keepers and keep a watchful eye for those perverts who target our children and women in our society. Instead of being the one to worsen the wound created by such devious act try to be compassionate and remember that every female is your sister and every male is your brother so when a victim cry the whole nation cries. Help the Government and the police officers and play your part as patriotic citizens who demand a better tomorrow. I pray that for those who are of a faith take your place at the alter and pray for these men with such darkened soul who target our children.
Finally, for those vile predators out there here is some advice:
• Go and Repent
• If you see a lady at a bar drinking do not drug her drink
• If you see a lady skimpily dress fight those demonic urges and leave her alone
• When a woman say no means NO
• When a woman say stop whether before or during intercourse it means STOP and you should always STOP.
For all the victims, I apologise for those who blamed you. It should be noted that such horrific act is never your fault. Always remember that your pain will make you stronger and the fight is to overcome. To the family of the victims always be supportive and remember never play the blame game with the victims as you are actually deepening a very deep wound.

Monique Novelette Thomas
Attorney-at-law
1st Vice-president Advocacy Research and Policy Development

Post Author: JAYECAN press

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